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Keys to Intimacy : Blue Sun Romance

footsteps on beachWelcome to Blue Sun Romance’s KEYS TO INTIMACY!

Enriching Relationship Growth through Communication, Excitement, Mutual Love, Enjoyment, and Everything else that matters in this regard.

Below, you’ll see that Blue Sun Romance’s ‘Keys to Intimacy’ are some of the strongest elements for improving relationship enhancement. It’s a wonderful place to inspire loving togetherness toward each other again. Inside these principles, you will find good old fashioned reminders on what it takes to make a romance work. You will unearth approaches about how to repair, rebuild, or construct that great love in your life again. We will discuss suggestions and tips on how to keep a dynamic, longer lasting companionship with your mate. But most of all, it’s going to be challenging to make new adjustments that favor loving relationships. It’s going to be fun inspiring hope and passion again. So hang on to your hats, because here we go!


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KEYS TO INTIMACY:

Key I. Invest in your Relationship

Key II. Consider Each Other and Grow


            A. Do's and Don'ts of Romance
            B. Intimacy and Communications


Key III. Enhance your Romance Together

Key IV. Return the Kiss - A Lot !!!

Key Excerpt. Lasting Intimate Secrets - Secret #1

As an Aside ... Help from the Wings



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Key I - 
Invest In Your Relationship!

To Invest in bettering your relationship, use this Key To Intimacy and put an honest effort into fulfilling the following ‘deed’ words and their descriptions:

Consideration – After loving someone and the initial stages of a romance move into a firm stability, time will polish certain aspects of your relationship that you’ll need to remember to sustain your personal, inner harmony.  These aspects include balance, happy mediums, compromises, and patience with each other.  Knowing the signals that foster good, civilized communications (and help to avoid the bad) can keep you loving each other with open hearts.  Forgiveness, and above all, tolerance also instill the foundational values two people need to survive.  There are many others, and they each affect the outcome of a life long union.  Neglect even the slightest consideration for your Lover and friction in your partnership will ensue.   

Feelings – Realize that feelings (tied to emotional reactions) are what drive us to act, think, and do.  Or, just as easily, stop us in our tracks.  People have quite a variety of emotional feelings.  When they’re bruised by someone’s thoughtless act, it takes a great toll on how we think about that person when it happens.  It can even shift our thoughts toward them for a lifetime.  The opposite holds true when Love and Imagination are put instead, into pleasing the one we love.  Remember that people’s feelings are always on alert for gestures big and small, right or wrong, good or bad.  Tread lightly when tensions flare.  Excite your Partner’s feelings when you get the chance, also when sensations and events call for surprises and love.

Heart – Lovers and Companions are reactionary creatures.  Our hearts are affected with joy by the gallant deeds others put forth on our behalf.  As well, we can be hurt by inattention with someone ignoring our basic human desires.  But ‘Heart’ is synonymous with effort.  Putting your ‘All’ into a surprise dinner, a garage cleanup or remodeling, or simply a romantic evening’s event, will add new and powerful dimensions to the love your partner already has for you.  Showing some Heart can be a significant Key to everything tied to a romance.  It takes Heart to Love your partner when they hurt you just minutes before.  It takes Heart to listen to someone who is upset.  It takes Heart to plan a life worth living together – and fulfilling it.  Heart takes strength and patience – and…  Fearlessness!

Money – This is a universal dilemma.  Money can hold a Passionate team together, or break them apart in an instant.  From the dawn of time, things of value are looked at by people in many different ways.  The Keys to Intimacy in this regard is not to allow money to hinder your pizzazz when it comes to kindly treating a Lover.  Naturally having it helps us proliferate beautiful accessories, travel trips, or to meet unexpected events and surprises.  But not having it allows us a better opportunity to think on our feet and fulfill little passions that won’t necessarily cost a thing.  Cleaning the house, writing a heartfelt poem for her to find, or taking off work for your Anniversary can add immeasurable love to a union.  Plan and save for a great vacation together – See our Intimate Getaways page for ideas on this.  Remember to always save a little money here and there; it will go a long, long way.

Time – One of the biggest complaints for couples in Love is that there’s never enough time for doing the things they want.  Vacations end too soon.  Work lasts too long.  The time spent together at the company picnic wasn’t enough for them as a couple.  Making quality time together is an important Key to Intimacy.  And ‘Time’ can be divided into a subgroup that carries as much weight as the idea itself - Timing!  Making time together for a date, the delivery of a luscious, labored-over desert, a passionate session under the sheets involves consideration by you for your partner.  If it’s been a stressful day, these things may not be regarded as a rewarding and beneficial experience.  So planning has to accompany your sense of timing.  Quite often – permission to love him or her is a factor as well.  Guys, you have to know when it’s a good time to jump in the shower with each other, “Honey, would you like your back scrubbed?”  And, don’t expect his undivided attention during the biggest football game of the year.  Give him a note, “See me after the game, Baby – Naked’, or something like that so you won’t disturb the moment he’s in.  This will save his night’s consideration of your needs and Love will follow.

Attention – People in relationships like to be treated with Respect.  Most people want and need to feel loved and important.  Most Romantic companions need their partners to recognize that they exist.  It comes down to having an ‘ear’ so to speak, to knowing when our Lovers are vying for attention or when they want to be left alone instead.  Being attentive to others in this regard is an Art.  Attentiveness to our partners is like as making an impression on a new boss or client in your chosen profession.  We should listen to them when they speak to us.  Our partners should listen to us.  Truly listen to our Lovers when they talk.  Make honest efforts to fulfill their requests to empty trash, plan a vacation, or simply sit through a loved one’s vigil.  TURN OFF the TV if your attention is needed.  You may not get another chance.  Remember the old days when you were hypnotized by their every word.

Communication – Without a doubt, loving, uplifting words can strengthen people and build great relationships.  ‘Talking’ and more importantly, ‘Listening’ to your partner confirms your love for them in small but miraculous doses.  Make him or her aware that things are definitely right in your world and you love them very much.  Or, tell them that things might be going wrong and it needs help fast!  Without knowing what someone wants, how can anyone make an effort to change?  And remember, this goes both ways:  Both of you have to want to make things better.  If one tries and the other isn’t sure, then self-actualize a little.  Pretend what life would be like – in the long run – without this person in it.  Learn to maneuver around the ‘triggers’ that send your Lover into frustration and even anger.  Be thoughtful and patient with the way you communicate; as well, be sure to recognize the way others receive information you reveal.  Words can devour relationships.  Speak easy and smile – it reflects good fortune and Love.

Honesty – The basis for a strong relationship comes from loving someone truly from the bottom of your heart.  Being honest to yourself is the most important point here.  Don’t lie about things just to impress your Lover.  It will catch up to you and then there’ll be some ‘Splainin’ to do, Lucy!’  If your life is not one you wish to elaborate on because you feel it’s inadequate, then go out and do something noteworthy.  Take up a hobby that’s exclusively you.  You’ll meet others with the same interests.  You’ll gain confidence and empowerment to try other things and then your life will be filled with honest dynamics.  This will shine through any of your self-perceived flaws, they will love you for who you truly are (and not for who you aren’t), and everything after that will be fine.

Sharing – Give yourself to someone, unequivocally.  Love sharing your thoughts and ideas with each other.  Be comfortable enough to share your fears, concerns about money or kids, or other elements causing rifts in your romance.  Be able to work out little annoyances so they won’t become big issues later.  Realize that certain affections are meant to be shared, and other things like inner personal struggles or hatreds are not.  As well, be delicate when addressing problems of importance, if you need serious help with a relationship, you may have to reconcile this professionally, or on your own.  See our ‘As an Aside’ section below.

Interests – Having mutual interests can often define our relationships with each other.  Interests push us through life, enjoying the depths of our mate’s refined character because of what they do, and interests foster love in our hearts while participating in events we like doing together.  To learn about each other’s interests is good.  Discovering new interests can be romantic and sometimes even sexy and passionate.  But interests should not be forced on one another for the sake of togetherness.  In Consideration, for your mate, don’t allow interests to become an obsession or an issue for escape.  Rather permit your interests to further your expression and creativity, or learn consistency, dedication to something, and even performance levels never before attained.  Everyone has interests, some master the standouts and others reinvent themselves discovering new and formidable talents – Golf, Skydiving, or ties to an even greater joy, a new Romantic interest. 

Trust – Trust, Acceptance, and Loyalty are pivotal in your greater relationship standards.  They often go without thinking, but loyalty to someone means their entire world remains intact.  Not flirting with another gorgeous beauty while you’re already taken is nobler than having ten conquests in the wings.  Splitting loyalties between people is counterproductive to ultimate romance.  The problems in time, money, and heartache it costs are usually not worth the effort.  But trust goes beyond fidelity.  It often incorporates judgment, knowing support is going to remain through thick and thin, and finally, realizing that Love will be the guiding principal of acceptance and encouragement throughout your Intimate Relationship. 

Hygiene – Cleaning up is something we all know how to do.  You can easily create passionate moods for your mate by being clean and sexy.  Shaves for him and her add excitement when the prospect of smooth skin will soon be running across each other’s.  Brushed teeth, fresh showers or baths before making love, and your hair smelling like the roses from a spring garden all play out for more dedicated, passionate romance.  Hygiene is a never ending affair.  It adds a special affinity for being loved and more so when getting ready for date nights.  You are remembered whenever a fresh breeze wafts nearby.  You are longed for by your mate because the sweet Aspen cologne or Estee Lauder perfume either of you wore last night, makes you unforgettable… Again!  

Humor – Laughter floats love and emotion into the Soul.  Knowing how to please your mate with clever banter and quippy jokes breeds laughter in special waves.  Shifting your state of mind from sullen and moody to one of harmony, humor,  and joy can be done in a heartbeat.  The Anthony Robbins Seminars teach people how to change from sad to glad by empowering themselves to do it, on the spot, without another moment’s concern.  Refuse to feel out of sorts.  Stay happy and ready for humor with your mate.  Using discretion in some circles is appropriate, but as a norm, a good joke breaks the ice, sets a tone for enjoyment throughout the night, and builds a stronger foundation to a relationship.

I think men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewelry.  Rita Rudner

How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of the pickup truck.

Men are like a good coffee: The best ones are rich, warm, and keep you up all night long.

Okay, On to our next great Deed - BSR

Chivalry – This Deed comes in a couple of different forms: Saving Face and Being Polite.  1. Saving Face: Some people talk about issues that they have no business whatsoever discussing.  Sometimes a significant other insists that what they’re saying is the way it is – absolutely, and without a doubt!  It’s times like these when chivalry requests that you let them have their say.  Use patience and consideration if you think it’s worth a correction.  If it doesn’t hurt anything, let them have their moment on the stage.  You can inform them later in private if it’s really that important.  2.  Being Polite / Chivalrous: This is as easy as opening doors, saying Please and Thank You, smiling when you listen to someone talk, or even playing together in public.  And not to patronize, but remember encouragement and appreciation.  Remember that touch reminds us that we’re loved and appreciated.  Being sincere about help is important as well.  Carry in the groceries.  Warm up the car when it’s cold.  Take ‘Baby watch’ as often as you can.  Cook once in a while, or clean when the cooking and eating is finished.  Do more than your fair share on chores day.  Fill up her car when she needs it or least expects it.  Chivalry is not about kissing up to someone; it’s about loving someone enough to make your romantic relationship great.  Chivalry means people who receive, recognize it too.

Now, not remembering these deeds, can result in snags.  If you don’t regularly practice the fundamentals of our deeds, and thoughts behind the Keys to Intimacy, your relationship may suffer, even to the point of collapse.  We don’t want that to happen to anyone.  So get out there and Love your partner, give your relationship the attention, tolerance, and patience it deserves, and flourish with passion and romance without exception.  Be Great to Each Other!

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As we have mentioned before…

Love through the Ages has been a constant endeavor of endless Romantic Pursuit.  We are no different today than the spirited Romantics were thousands of years ago.  Men love Women.  And Women long for their Men.  The antics, tribulations, and tragedies we endure as humans for anything connected to Love, is utterly fascinating – and always will be.

Key II - Consider Each Other And Grow!

The Keys To Intimacy Are What You Practice When Loving Somebody!

Below are two Relationship Categories that can affect the ultimate outcome of how the Keys to Intimacy are applied - depending on how you use them.  Click the links to move within this section and find your own path to Intimacy, Growth, and Significance for you and your Loving Partner.

Do’s and Don’ts of Romance - This is the BSR Do’s and Don’ts page.  It could more affordably be called the Do’s and Don’ts of Relationship Repair.  Loving companionships need the consideration of dedicated lovers.  Not many people know how to pursue the tenants of sincere companionship and keeping lifelong partners as friends in the deal. There is a submissions option at the bottom of this page for people to submit their own ideas for Do’s and Don’ts (linked to the ‘BSR Contact-Us’ email account).

Intimacy and Communications  -  Letters and thoughts of Romantic interludes bring the Keys To Intimacy to wonderful heights of sensations and love.  This will be a site for submitted Letter’s of Passion other than those of the author.  There is a submissions option at the bottom of this page for people to submit their own Passionate Correspondence (linked to the ‘BSR Contact-Us’ email account).


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Key III - Enhance Your Romance Together.

Tips to Add More Romance to Your Love Life

By Susan Breslow Sardone, About.com

Is there enough romance in your love life? Romance doesn't have to cost a thing; romance simply requires some thought about what you can do to please your mate more. Once you dedicate yourself to enhancing romance, you're likely to experience greater intimacy and an improved love life. Here are just a few ideas to increase the amount of romance in your life:

ROMANCE TIP #1: Write a Love Letter

Sometimes it's easier to put thoughts of romance in a letter than to speak them aloud. If that's how you feel, follow these simple tips for writing a personal, deeply felt love letter that expresses your feelings of romance and affection for the other person.

ROMANCE TIP #2: Say it with Roses

A bouquet of roses can work wonders to melt a heart or forgive a hurt. But before you pick up a stem, make sure that the color roses you select send the correct message of romance.

ROMANCE TIP #3: Plan a Romantic Getaway

Sometimes simply planning and anticipating a trip will heighten feelings of romance. Set aside time to go over your calendars, determine when you can get away, and discuss what type of setting you consider best for romance. Find current information on romance packages by clicking the link above.

ROMANCE TIP #4: Surprise Your Partner with a Small Gift

Whether it's a scented candle, a bottle of massage lotion, or some bubble bath, your gift of romance doesn't have to be expensive... just something that will please your mate. And if you want to turn up the heat even more, assemble an entire basket of romance with a variety of sensual gifts inside.

ROMANCE TIP #5: Pick Out Some Sexy Lingerie

Something scant and filmy can do wonders to enhance romance. While many women feel self-conscious or that they need a perfect figure to wear sexy lingerie, it's simply not true.

ROMANCE TIP #6: Put on Mood Music

Set the scene for seduction by playing your favorite sounds. What CDs or MP3s put you in the mood for romance?

ROMANCE TIP #7: Add Diamond Sparkle

If you can afford a diamond ring or bracelet or pendant, go for it. The sparkle in a woman's eyes when she opens such a gift is likely to yield an immediate outburst of romance.   About.com.

For More on Romantic Enhancement, visit About.com Romantic Ideas

Add More Romance when you combine the Keys To Intimacy with the Arts of Love

All the facets of Great Love; Movies, Art, Sculpture, Dance, Poetry, Writing, and Music come into play when you approach these activities with imagination and love.  We know that experiencing these suggestions will enhance your Romance.  When coupled with the kindnesses and sincerity covered herein, you will definitely land yourself into the arms of your greatest companion.  Go out and enjoy each other.


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Key IV - Return The Kiss – A Lot !!!

Do you know how to kiss?  Do you realize that some people go their entire relationships not kissing to their partner’s satisfaction?  Kissing is a Key to Intimacy that can’t be underestimated.  The importance of this simple act can be a ‘Deal Breaker’ in terms of the romance and needs of our mates. 

Although there are numbers of sites that you can search for tips on kissing and doing it well, BSR will tackle the basics here and let you be the judge.

Kisses vary from the quaint and discreet, to the passionate and robust.  A kiss can beget a swirl of emotions that range from the jitters of a first kiss goodnight for two young lovers, to the enthralling reminders between couples who’ve been together for years that love and intimacy still flourish from their hearts.  There are kisses for long goodbyes, kisses for lonely hellos, greeting kisses, good-riddance kisses.  Sometimes there are Grandma’s kisses; sometimes there are Hugs and kisses.  But most kisses are performed to coax the embers of love and passion between two romantic, intimate people. 

When lovers slowly kiss each other with tender, moist lips and electricity sparking between them, they usually want to be kissed equally as well in return.  A good kiss can have both partners quickly craving for more, and this quite often sets the body and mind into motion toward a more intimate, loving encounter.

Try to eliminate the perfunctory, obligatory kiss from your repertoire from this minute on.  Make all of your kisses emotional and passionate.  Even little, memorable kisses can qualify for the Kisser’s Hall of Fame.  When your supple, tasty lips ‘cherry or peach’ mix with love and passion to back it up, you’ll bring wonders to your loving companion.  The time for embracing your partner starts with the kiss.  Make it a good one.

Keeping the Flames of Youth in the Hearts of Old is the ultimate goal of dedicated Lovers.  Each partner understands the joys and efforts that go into pleasing a mate with a glorious kiss.  When you work hard to magnify kisses for your Lover, many rewards spring forth in the forms of appreciation, tenderness, memory, and Love.  When you go out of your way for your significant other, it won’t go unnoticed.

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Key Excerpt – Lasting Intimate Secrets - Secret #1:

Character, Charisma, Charm, Chivalry, Consideration!

Nothing is more impressive to a Woman than a focused, attentive Man.

The ability to combine the above edicts into one general theme presses into the fabric of an unending, undivided Love for someone.  The funny thing about these traits is that if you live a dignified, honorable life, you shouldn’t have to seek them out at all – they are already within you.  But to lead you to even more intimacy together, with lives that are filled with growing passion, love, and understanding between you and your mate, we will list a few more thoughts here to spark your memory:

You can name a hundred different things that would impress your best Baby, but for starters how about…

Honesty, honor, integrity, trustworthiness, faithfulness, love, friendship, kindness, attention, a sense of timing, quality attentiveness, commitment, opening her doors, holding her hands, kissing like it might be your last, kissing so she’ll remember it hours, days, or even weeks from now.  Accepting her the way she is, believe in her dreams, listening to her and interacting with eagerness and passion.  Being loyal, being dedicated, encourage her when she wants something more, show compassion, have unending tenderness, maintain strength, keep impeccable hygiene, stay healthy, have flawless character, appreciate her. Keep admiration, enjoyment, peace, and sound principals in your heart.  Maintain respect, creativity, and longing for her, love every physical inch, never let her body hit the sheets without your hands behind her.  Use guidance, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, wonder, and laughter.  Be her rescuer, be her driver, be her lover, be her friend, be her confidant, defend her, enlighten her, astonish her, surprise her, help her, please her, and finally, above everything else – never stop believing that she totally deserves a great life with you in it, coupled to everything we’ve just mentioned above.

She’ll always love you for it.  You’ll always want to improve physically and mentally to keep great passion between you.  You’ll want to do more for her than you’ve already done.  It’s a loving circle that melds to itself and has no end.

Other tenants of Relationship Enhancement include:

Contentment, Boldness, Thriftiness, Respect, Persuasiveness, Joyfulness, Virtue, Decisiveness, Gratefulness, Orderliness, Forgiveness, Honor, Justice, Faith, Responsibility, Initiative, Happiness, Self-Control, Pleasure, Resourcefulness, Enjoyment, Tolerance, Bliss, Creativity, Discretion, Ecstasy, Endurance, Wisdom, Benevolence, Diligence, Hospitality, Merriment, Sensitivity, Discernment, Jubilation, Cautiousness, Dependability, Availability, Security, Compassion, Truth, and Humility to name a few.  Laugh at her innocence.  Hug each other when it’s needed.  Clean the house together.  Go Someplace New!  Have fun with each other in the bathtub.  Make Love on Date Nights.  Get tickets to a ballgame and go even if the weather is bad.  Protect yourselves financially, emotionally, and conditionally – wear a coat when it’s cold, go to the dentist twice a year, save for that vacation, tell your partner that you’re in love again today – with them!

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As an Aside…Help from the Wings!

Dr. Tony Hain, Professor at the General Motors Institute years back, mentioned in one of his lectures that…

“Money, Sex, and Religion are the big three psychological values.”

BSR agrees. They certainly make a relationship sound in principle and capable of longevity.  Knowing your mate and knowing yourself can guide you comfortably through lifelong choices like marriage or raising a family.  But if one or more of these codes break down, you may be headed for trouble.  If you’re not succeeding in your compatibility with each other, it may be based on one or more of the codes being skewed or even opposite to your partner’s values, impressions, or beliefs.   This could lead to complications in your relationship, straining your work or professional circle, or tainting outside social environments as well. 

But… You have permission to adjust.  Work on understanding your Partner. You can break the cycle of boring routine and spread out with a ‘Sense of Otherness’,  that aspect of Love that always puts others before yourself.  This surely transcends to different areas of your life and adds infinite benefit to others as well.

Try either of these two great resources if you want to learn more:

Building Healthy Marriages - www.buildinghealthymarriages.org. We all need help now and then.  Marriage is sometimes a learn-as-you-go endeavor, so let us offer you some support. The Building Healthy Marriages program offers training and skills to help you have a successful relationship.  Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant: 90FE0134.

Drs. John and Julie Gottmanwww.gottman.com.  The Gottman Institute provides practical, research-based tools to strengthen and repair marriages and relationships.  They offer Weekend Workshops for couples, Professional Training for therapists, and book, DVDs, and other products on Parenting and Relationships.  It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater health and love in relationships.

Blue Sun Romance hopes to convey to you our devotion to these principals for sustaining a great relationship.  By adhering to and practicing the Keys to Intimacy, our site will move and evolve you into a hallmark for bonding and developing great relationship standards.  Only you can decide the degree of effort you will need to fill your relationship with Love and Passion.

When we pursue great Love, it doesn’t come easy and it’s even harder to keep.  However, once you have found the man or woman of your dreams, then you need every tool in your arsenal to win that person’s heart, energy, spirit, love, friendship, compassion, and understanding.

Blue Sun Romance (and maybe Cupid as well) surely hopes to get you there!

 

BSR

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